Spring Break

      Apparently in the outside world it is spring break and I find it strange how for the first time in my life it has little effect on me. I am not teaching school nor do I have school aged children so this spring break will pass virtually unobserved in this household. I don't know if I should relish these scant years where this once revered week will pass unnoticed or be sad that I am leaving behind an era of my life.
      I never did the whole spring break vacation while I was in high school and college but I did look forward to it. A whole week to catch up on sleep and homework that I had put off. Not that I ever did the homework but I often had good intentions and set for myself lofty goals. While I was teaching I had similar plans; catch up on sleep and grading that I had put off (not that that happened either). So perhaps this would feel more momentous if I had some crazy history of fabulous partying or wild vacations or even lofty goal reaching. Or maybe I should look at it as if I have entered a stage in my life, while I am home with my children, where every week it spring break. I at least have the same goals that I had every spring break: catch up on sleep and housework that I have put off (not that that ever happens). I guess some things never change.

Nap Wars

Nathan has been having some troubles with his naps. I assume it is because he is reaching an age where he will change to taking only one nap but meanwhile he just doesn't want to sleep but is quite tired. So he gets more and more hyper and I get more and more exhausted until I put him to bed happy or not and listen to him cry which increases my exhaustion until he falls asleep and by then I need a nap too. I worry that this is a vicious cycle but so far he has been a much happier boy when he wakes up and seems to bear no hard feeling towards his oppressor so I think I will do us all a favor and go take a nap too.

Cooking for Two and a Half

I never learned to cook for less than four. Which is a problem because my family consists of two and a half. When I cook for Daniel, Nathan and I there are always tons of leftovers that Daniel "gets" to take for his lunch for the next week or two. The result is that he ends up resentful of several of my dishes due to over exposure.
While I was working we got ezmeals which gives you recipes and grocery lists that are supposed to work for two and they often did. Daniel was the one cooking at that time and it made such a difference in our tendency to eat out. But I don't cook that way, I cook cheaper than they do, and I like my cooking so no more ezmeals now that I am home.
I believe that I have found a solution to my over cooking though and it is ingenious. I have started providing others with a week of meals for a weekly fee that is less than they would spend eating out. Am I good or am I good. Daniel gets more home cooked meals because I don't resort to hot dogs or leftovers as much. I just keep a small portion of what I make for them, for us, and send off the rest. I do get "cooked out" if the meals that I choose are all really intensive prep meals. And there are fewer leftovers for Daniel to take to work but that hasn't been a big problem as of yet.
I guess my conclusion is that if you don't know how to cook for two, find more people.

How to get things done... a quandary

When I am cleaning houses I can clean a three bedroom 1600 sq.ft. home in just over three hours. It takes me 30 min. to clean two bedrooms and a bathroom, dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing the tub, toilet, sink, and mopping. I like to think that, when it comes to cleaning, I am pretty quick. But last Monday when I was trying to clean my house it did not go so smoothly. It took me four hours to clean my bathroom and bedroom alone. FOUR HOURS! I should be ashamed to publicly broad cast such atrocity's. But Nathan wanted to pick up the Scrubbing Bubbles, then he wanted to pick up the Windex, then he somehow grabbed the razor that I had moved from the side of the tub, that almost gave me a heart attack, is there no place safe? One thing after another. I would wipe down the sink, take something from Nathan and try to put it somewhere safer, wipe down the tub, take some thing from Nathan and try to put it somewhere safer, rinse, lather, snatch, repeat. Again and again. I will say that he was far more helpful in cleaning the room because as I took things away from him I would put them up so though it wasn't as organized a process as I would have liked I was making progress. So four hours later the bedroom and bathroom are clean and I am exhausted. Was it worth it? It sure felt like it when I sank into my beautiful bed that night. Maybe next time I clean I should hire a sitter, it would be cheaper than hiring me.

Climbing is Nathan's official sport

Nathan has taken to climbing. I guess it has always has had an affinity for it. When he was just a year old he started perching, and I do mean perching, on this butter cookie tin that was in our living room. He would put his feet one by one on the edge, not the middle, and try to stand up. When you are only 1.5 ft tall being 5" off the floor is a big deal. So the other day he climbed up on the small filing box that is in the corner of the living room. He was so excited bobbing up and down on the box reaching for the things that he could now get to. He would climb up and down and I would move things out of reach and it was all going well 'till he took a tumble and busted the inside of his upper lip, don't ask me how. Mouth injuries bleed a lot you know; so 5 min. later he is feeling fine and ready to go but he is still bleeding and I am trying to make sure that he has all his teeth in between bites of Popsicle which I am hoping will help stop the bleeding. I had been mopping up the blood with a damp washcloth and now he wanted to wipe everyone face with it which was just icky. Did this deter his climbing ambitions...of course not. I was in the kitchen just days later on the phone with my mom. Nathan was running around the living room and I could just barely see the top of Nathans little head going this way and that over the bar that separates the kitchen from the living room. Now I can not see more than the top of his head because the bar is about chest high. Suddenly Nathans little face comes up over the bar grinning at me and as he is as proud as he could be. I was in shock. You know when you see something that your brain doesn't believe is possible and your mouth feels that it needs to state it just to see if it sounds better out of your head. Out it comes to my mom who, if you remember, I am on the phone with, "Nathan's head just came up over the bar." Just like that; my mom, quickly assessing the situation, says that she will let me go and gathering my wits about me I run into the living room just as Nathan begins to explore the new range of his reach. He had used the a fore mentioned butter cookie tin to get on the chair under the bar and from there he climbed on the back of the chair and tada! we are looking over the bar. So how do I put a stop to this dangerous escapade? I have no idea. So far it has not happened again and so I am just keeping my fingers crossed. So the real question is... what is next? Everest?

I dreamed I was talking to my Pa. We were sitting in those old office chairs that are smooth brown leather; the ones that are almost wider than they are tall with the studs around the edge and casters on the feet. He was behind me and I was turned around leaning over the back of my chair with my knees drawn up. We were just chatting about finances and I didn't agree with him but didn't say anything about it that wasn't important. He didn't look like Pa, but he did. He was smaller and his hair was white. He wasn't as gruff as I remember Pa being. We were just being together. The first thing I remember us saying was...

“It is nice to own a home.” I was a little wistful

“ Until you are on your way to the hardware store” He replied with a smile. I smiled too. “That is why me and your Grandma need to move somewhere smaller. Less to keep up with...” He talked about perhaps renting. He talked about a little grey house.

“I think she doesn't want to move because the house reminds her of you. She really misses you.”

“I know” he replied softly.

“I like going there because it reminds me of you. I miss you too.”

“I know.” He replied even softer.

He looked thoughtful and I could tell I was about to go. My mind kinda started racing thought all the conversations that I wish we had been able to have while he was here. There was so much that I wanted to talk to him about; to ask him about his life. “How did you come to know Christ?” I asked quickly as my dream faded. “Your Grandmother...” was all I got and then I was awake.

I have been crying ever since, when I think about it, when I talk about it. It has been 5 years since he died and longer than that since he was kinda gone due to Alzheimer's. He never forgot who I was when I saw him but I never really got past my sophomore year in high school for him even though I was out of college when he passed away. Somehow it is like loosing him all over again. I don't understand it at all. It was so real but not like I didn't know he was dead. It is just like I got a glimpse of him as he is now, where he is now, and got to take a moment with him. He wasn't sad, maybe wistful, and I wasn't sad until I woke up. It was like we were just hanging out on a sunny afternoon talking about whatever happened to come up. It wasn't like it would be if i saw Pa again it was like it should be.

The Monday

It has been a Monday. I called the father of the child that I keep sometimes at 10:30 to see if I was off in thinking I should have him today and found out that the dad was not feeling well and so he was staying home and Eli was just going to be staying with him. That changed my plans for the day making it a bit more relaxed. I called my mom at 12:00pm to check the plans that I had with her. Those had been for me to bring my son and lunch at 1:30 so that I could head to my Dr. appointment. She was going to have a meeting that was canceled so I headed over there a bit early and got Braum's for us to eat. After a nice lunch I headed to my appointment which was as pleasant as those yearly ones can be. When I finished I called my mom and found out that Nathan was still asleep so I told her that I would go my Carter Blood Care to give blood before I came to get Nathan. I went to one location to find out it was closed so I headed to the location that is closer to my mom's house. I got there got all checked in and was fillin' up the bag when my phone rang. I got the sweet lady who was putting up with my crazy veins to hand me the phone. I called my mom back, she was the missed call, and found out Nathan had grabbed a lamp and she wasn't sure is he had burned himself or shocked himself and that she needed me there as quickly as I could. So now I am looking at the needle in my arm trying to figure out how to bleed faster. The phlebotomist was concerned because I looked tired but really I was just stressed. I told her about the phone call and she started trying to give me hints to get the blood flowing. So I finished up, grabbed a juice and downed it as I climbed into the car rushing all the more because I hadn't put my coat on and it was just above freezing. Just as I put the key in the ignition my phone rang again. It was my mom and she said that Nathan had calmed down and seemed to be okay, there was no hurry. This is the moment when I flopped back in the car seat and just tried to take a deep breath. Mondays.