I Love You a Lifetime Worth

     I have known my husband since I was 17 years old. I was just coming out of the awkward, breaking into the unknown, and making as many stupid mistakes as I thought could get away with. I was selfish, a little vain, unsure of my place in the world, and moving into adulthood as trepidatiously as I could without losing face.

2003- K11 Formal

     I know that the girl that he met then cannot be the same one he wakes up to every morning. I am nearly 15 years older, three children older, and several heart breaking losses older. Each of these things have lined my face, my body, and my mind in their own relentless but gentle way. Life has carried me softly through these years and I can only hope that in time the sharp edges of my faith and personality will round out into the gentle curves that my body has. 

     I am still selfish, a little more thoughtful, demanding of those closest to me, and always striving to overcome the long list of shortcomings I am painfully aware of in myself and in doing so exhaust myself.

2005- At a friends wedding the
day after we got engaged.

     The steadfastness of my husband's love and desire for me through what I feel are drastic changes astounds me. It is on occasion both breathtaking and confounding to me. He doesn't see the faults as I do, as glaring errors in my general make up that flaw the whole. They are side effects of the things that he loves about me, my fierce spirit, my love for people, my vast but limited energy, and my desire to lead us all the be better people.

     I have never seen him hesitate to profess his love for me or flinch away from my body even in the distortions, the icky-ness, and the awkwardness that can come during pregnancy. Don't misunderstand me, pregnancy and the pregnant form is profound and beautiful, but it is messy, painful, and humbling too. A husband gets to see what the maternity photos don't show. The nausea, the blood, and all the other less photogenic side effects of this marvelous time.

2005- Silliness on our
wedding day

     So in this short little post here I want to thank the Lord for blessing me with a man that is more than I deserve, all that I need, and sometimes as much I can stand. And I want to thank Daniel for his patience, his desire for God, and his unyielding love for me. These years would have been a bleak shadow compare to what they were without you there in the midst of them. 

     Here is to another two weeks, another year, another decade. I love you a lifetime worth and I am so happy to be called your wife.

2015